I have reached year 57!

Having a birthday is strange now. I love the cooler weather in November. I love getting cards and calls from the people I love the most. I love it that Lou writes something special to me and brings me flowers. I love my life now more than ever; I have a husband who is there for me no matter what. I have children who are successful and productive adults. I have a business to run with Lou (who does the hardest part). I have "arrived" in the sense that I don't want for anything! The uncertainty of life keeps me from fretting about the future but forcing me to enjoy the present. Knowing I have weathered really difficult times keeps me from worrying if I will come up against something I cannot handle. I am in a unique place and I spend a lot of my time in awe and wonder that I am here. It is a good feeling and I know I am blessed!

So I officially started my birthday celebration on Friday. I got a nice evening of blue/pink sky out at the dock after dinner. Saturday morning Lou was off to the shop to work on his Harley. I took my camp chair and headed out to the dock. The tide was way, way low. I think I remember it being like this last year, but still it was impressive. You could walk across most of the bay and the deep channels looked like rivers in a muddy basin. I spent a couple of hours out there reading and writing. Lou had made reservations for Saturday evening at the Ruth's Chris Steak house in Tampa, just a 15 minute drive from the house. I did a nice long spa-like time getting ready in the afternoon; taking a long hot bath, doing my nails and getting my hair just right. Lou came in about 3:30 with a lovely Fall Arrangement in a basket from the florist.

We had a lovely dinner. The table cloth was sprinkled with confetti and I had a fun dessert that I even took a photo with my phone. The filet and shrimp were the best. I have never been disappointed in a steak at Ruth's Chris. Turns out it is Ben's favorite steak place too.....the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say.

Sunday morning Lou took me out to one of our favorite breakfast diners. We had originally planned to rent a kayak for the day and explore the bay, but with the cool temps and the high winds we decided to take a car ride and explore some areas east and south of us. We started out around 11am and headed south over the Sunshine Skyway. Seeing the parasailers from the road we got off the main road and stopped to watch, getting a couple of pictures.

We ended up in Punta Gorda in the afternoon. We stopped in the park along Port Charlotte Harbor and had some goofy moments by the statue of Ponce de Leon. The weather was cool, sunny and perfect! We have lived in Florida for 5 years now and we have travelled so many places. It is interesting how it is actually becoming home.

My Uncle Jim

This photo was taken at Lake Arrowhead in the San Bernardino Mountains. I was less than a year old in the Summer of 1954. The attention I got from my God Father, my Uncle Jim, would turn out to be the most nurturing and important fatherly attention I ever had. He had the gift for caring and for taking the world very lightly. I always felt like I did my siblings a favor by sharing My Uncle Jim with them.
He passed away in 1997 at age 65 from leukemia.
The year before he left I flew up to Sonoma by myself and spent 6 days with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Jim.
It was a rare time, the only time actually, that I had them all to myself.
It was typical January weather for Sonoma County, cold and rainy some days, but sunny and beautiful on others. We did a lot of driving to all of our special spots; Bodega Bay for lunch and Napa for wine tasting. Also the champagne winery near their home in Sonoma. I will treasure that time for all of my life.

I was studying poetry at the time at Cal. State San Bernardino under B.H. Fairchild. This is an assignment
poem that I wrote when I returned from that trip.

SIX DAYS TO SAY GOOD-BYE

We drive through tufted, velvet hills,
Under heavy gray-silk skies,
Taste red wine and eat rich meals,
Only six days to say good-bye.

Sleeping vines of summer wines
Stand bare in perfect rows.
Will he see the Spring sun shine,
Or blooms of mustard grow?

Talk is tender, false with hope,
We plan a June reunion
We walk along green coast slopes
sprouting purple lupine.

The dormant Winter clings to life
in glowing-beaded meadows.
I take its lesson as a light
to illuminate my shadows.

copyright 1996 Eileen Osgood
aka Eileen Keister

Road Trip: Train Ride and Fall Colors

We had always wanted to do an overnight trip on a train. So we finally got the opportunity to take the car-train from Orlando, Fl up to Lorton, VA (near Alexandria). The two meals we had on the train were delightful. Dinner was delicious and our table mates were entertaining. Morning breakfast was simple cereal and fruit and coffee, but served on a linen table cloth with cloth napkins makes that simple fare seem so elegant!! We didn't sleep as well as we'd like; actually it was miserable! I suppose it is one of those things that you could get used to.

Got the car and we were on the road by 11am on Saturday morning; short time on the beltway and we headed west towards the hills. "The Scenic Drive" was a $15 fee for the Park entrance so we turned around and did the less crowded and cost free route through small towns and two lane highways. The fall colors were maroon, gold and amber brilliant. So many of the houses along the highway were decorated with pumpkins, scarecrows and tons of mums. We figured we'd be in Roanoke, VA by dinnertime so we mapquested a Sheraton in Roanoke and were able to get some discounts via Ben. Thanks Ben, roomservice was a total luxury since we were so tired from the night on the train. Lou slept while I drove most of the way. It made me happy he was so relaxed. I had coffeed up at Breakfast so I had plenty of energy that slipped away by the time we got in our hotel room.

Early morning for us at 9am, on the road with our 1/2 priced starbucks, thanks to Ben's discount at the Hotel. We drove about 5 miles and got onto the Blue Ridge Parkway. We had one of those perfect moments driving down the tree lined parkway, the brilliant morning sunshine, the sunroof open and our hot drinks in hand....so perfect!

There were open meadows with grazing horses and cattle. Often crossing rock bridges made in the Depression era, still gorgeous and strong. We came up on two white burros that were wearing head harnesses, but had clearly escaped their fenced pasture. We slowed down as we passed them on the right side of the road walking towards us. They stopped as we crept the car by and they looked at us with what Lou and I agreed was a very guilty look on their faces. We laughed and drove on. They probably do that on a regular basis, they looked like they knew what they were doing!

We decided to eat lunch and then just head on home. We always seem to need a recovery day after being away, so getting back to Brooksville last night late was a bit of a push, but we were able to wake up and eat and then head down to Safety Harbor.

We lounged around all day and napped enjoying our stolen Monday holiday at home. Walked downtown for dinner then back home....then we needed an ice cream cone so we walked back to town and got one, walking around town to wear it off before we got back just in time to see the sun set on the dock.

Some Things Must Change

A Dozen Years

The braille of pine door-frames and oak stair-rails guide my groping
palms up fourteen steps to you.
Branches outside your window melt
into monkey faces when you waken wide-eyed.
Your fear is the only voice that still pulls me from my dreams,
forcing me to see the slender shadows that shine
on moon-bright nights. Street-lighted halls whisper
my way through the the house that speaks
the secret of little girls growing.
Each night, for a dozen years, we lie together, warm and woven,
for awhile. I hold you, in limbo, while you grow in my arms.
Memories of your infant self, sweet with milk-breath fingers,
find their way into the midnight room.
The once fat-padded body now pokes me with sharp elbows and knees.
Your fragile, velvet cap I used to stroke is now a plaited rope,
it tickles my lips with its fringe.
You clutch your dissolving childhood with a death-grip,
but soon you must slip from me, into a woman's form.

copyright 1996 Eileen Osgood aka Eileen Sagona Keister

First Memory

Brave at Two

He sits, paper spread under
yellow fingers of lamplight. The Grundig
drones the news.

Children are down,
but one doesn't sleep.
She is watching light slide
across the wall and fade down the street.
The world is her own tonight.

Slipping from the shared warmth,
into the night hall,
avoiding the caverns of unlit rooms,
she begins an adventure.

Light from the living room chases
the darkness, just enough for
fat feet to pad down the hardwood
on a silent mission.

She sees his head crowned in light above
the high-backed chair.
The radio talks unseen,
masking her presence.

Climbing the open-drawers
she stretches up onto cold linoleum counters,
and discovers the treasure; the white sweet-sugar
crust of Campfire marshmallows wrapped in a blue
waxed papered box.

And Nobody ever knew.


copyright 1997 Eileen Osgood aka Eileen Sagona Keister

Lou gave me this card for my birthday a few years ago and it works with this poem perfectly.

I believe I am 2 yrs old in this photo. My brother Jim, in the background, appears to be around 1+ years and we are just a little over 1 year apart. This is taken at Easter time (I can tell by my Easter bonnet and Jimmy's suit) in Nuremburg, Germany. I believe in 1956...I would have been three that following November. This was when I got up on the counter via the drawers I pulled open and got into the Campfire marshmallows on my own. It was the first time I did something without anyone knowing and it was a powerful moment that I clearly remember. This is a product of a poetry writing course I took (one of many) over the course of 3 years under the Poet B.H.Fairchild. I owe my love of poetry to him.

Summer is Gone, Fall has Arrived!

It has been weeks since I have wanted to or had the time to post anything. We have been busy with Winter St. and then Katie was here for 4 days with her buddy Kelly. It was so good to fall asleep at night with Katie and Kelly talking out in the living room. I have such a unique sense of happiness when my kids are in the house. It was a good visit, way too short! She was able to get her car. We are delighted to be a two car family now. We have had up to 5 cars at one time....crazy!
We are enjoying Winter St now that we don't have guests booked for the remainder of the year. There is a booking from Jan-April, so we have that to shoot for to get things done....snail's pace, my kind of pressure! This is a big month for birthdays. My Ben had his 29th and it has really been a big number for me to comprehend. I was 27 when I had him. I remember as a young Mom one afternoon I wrote a letter to Ben as a man. In my mind I imagined it was on the event his wedding. I cried my eyes out as I pictured this infant, sleeping in his crib, as a full grown man. He has grown into a man so wonderfully beyond what I could have imagined. I am a very proud parent right now! Years later I found that letter and felt self conscious about writing it and threw it away thinking it was silly. I have always regretted that! Those were the years when I didn't trust myself.

I have thoroughly enjoyed our first Summer at Safety Harbor. My nightly ritual going out to the dock and watching the sun set has produced more sunset pictures than I'll ever need. They truly are unique and amazing, every one of them. The time of sitting, just being still, watching the water has been so healing and calming. Life is always changing so I grab those dock moments as often as I can. When I am at Winter St., as I am today, I find joy in the sunsets too, they are just different as the sun filters through the dogwood tree and the pines out in front. The changing leaves are evident, however subtle. One has to look hard to see the golden in the green. I pulled out my fall decorations right after Labor day. My favorite time of year. Halloween on Winter St. is a big deal, a carnival of sorts. I think people drive their kids to this neighborhood to trick or treat because it is so compact and inaccessible to thru traffic. You'd think you were on Main St. at Disneyland with the parade of lighted yard tractors, pulling trailers filled with kids....we missed it last year, but we plan to be here this year!

I have posted a few very recent dock picutres; one showing the almost full moonshine sending glitter to me on the water. Katie and Kelly on a late night talk fest in the kitchen at Safety Harbor. The purple berries on one of our indigenous plants, American Beautyberry, at Winter Street. The sun setting behind the live oak by the water.

A good Summer! Lou and I are looking forward to a little weekend trip in October to see some leaves changing and experience some cooler temperatures. Going by car-train to Virginia....will post pictures for sure!

Grouper Cheeks?

A nice date night last night at the Palm Pavilion, out at Clearwater Beach, for grouper cheeks (first I ever heard of these!) and fries. A walk on the beach, only brought home one shell. Not that I need any more. It was nice to see the gulf coast for a change. The water is warm and beautiful! Kinda cool onshore breeze to make it balmy. Nice end to a busy week.
Lou works pretty hard during the week; on his feet all day. On the weekends I defer to his preferences, much to my benefit I might add! Today we were up at the crack of dawn because our upstairs neighbors were up and the unusual noise woke us long before we were ready. We had our morning's hot drinks and then climbed back into bed when the noise settled down. After catching another couple hours of sleep we then shared a hearty late breakfast. Sunshine today for more than just five minutes. Got a walk in later in the afternoon when we were ready for lunch. So downtown to Brady's BBQ for a pulled pork sandwich for Lou and riblets and collard greens for me. Back home after lunch it was time for movies to take a nap by; Woody Allen's "Manhattan" put me to sleep.
A trip to the dock to watch the swirl of thunder clouds form behind me to the West and to the southeast. Called Kate back from her earlier missed call and caught her in the middle of a wedding shoot..yikes! Finished up the evening with a call to Paul's Pizza for dinner delivery; dry rub wings/bleu cheese dressing for me and a italian beef and sausage sandwich for Lou....got the Moto GP on the TV and just letting it all digest! We still have another whole day to hang together!!!
I am enjoying our very simple life right now. I have lived long enough to know it won't last forever. Living in the moment is becoming a habit.....I love it!

Mr. and Mrs. Manatee Visit Me

I had missed Thursday night to make my dock visit. I love going out to see what is happening with the sea life so I made sure I got out there on Friday after dinner. We ate late so it was after 8 by the time I went out. The first thing I noticed was that the water was as calm as glass and there were a lot of grasses floating on the surface. That made me think there probably was going to be some manatee action. I was sitting quietly on the far end of the dock next to the swim step when I heard that familiar breathing sound of a manatee...sure enough..there he was. The tide was high so he was able to hide deep down and down again he went. His big sized bubbles surfacing the longer he stayed down. I think they can do up to 3 minutes so I just waited and sure enough he came back up, but it a totally different area far away from my first sighting. Hmmmmmm....I was beginning to think there might be two manatees. I kept missing their surfacing; hearing them and then quickly looking just as they went back under. After about 20 minutes I was going to head back in, then I heard that familiar snort and there were two manatees right there next to me. Looking down into the water I could tell by their markings that we hadn't met before. With their closeness I figured they must be Mom and calf or Mr. and Mrs. Manatee. Since they were both about the same huge size I think I will call them Mr. and Mrs. Manatee. After they surfaced they almost as quickly dove back down to much on more of the seagrass growing on the bottom. Then I saw it: a manatee turd....

Today is Lou's Birthday

Got Lou his favorite lunch, Five Guys Cheeseburger and fries. Had a lot of paperwork to do today so I didn't get out of the shop until after 3pm. I had been eyeing a store that sells cheesecake for a while; The Better Cheesecake. Stopped in there and picked out a yummy looking raspberry cheesecake that was just the right size. I made Lou his favorite homemade tacos for dinner and he had just enough room for a piece of cheesecake afterwards. He thanked me for not making a big deal of his birthday. Funny how birthdays become more of an annoyance than anything after a while. He did get a call from Lois and I know it made him very happy. It made me happy too.
A trip to the dock watching the tropical storm bring dark clouds from the south so I didn't stay long. The tide had been so high that there was still flooding on the grassy area at the shoreline. I had to pick my way through high ground to get to and from the dock. I got to watch the clouds swirling above me as the storm moved in. It rained hard for a while, but nothing big.

Sunday Afternoon Drive

We woke to a phone call from my Kate. It was after 9:30 am, she wasn't jumping the gun, we were being slugs! Got the lowdown on her latest wedding while I made my coffee and put the electric kettle on for Lou's tea. So fun to know she is happy and having fun! After our usual morning bacon and eggs (for Lou) and gluten free waffels (for me) breakfast we decided to head out to explore the area east of Tampa. We drove over to Plant city and stopped at the train station. It started to rain while we were there, but for me it only added to the experience.

A Thursday Holiday!

We both slept terrible last night. I was up till after 3am and Lou got up at 1:30 and didn't sleep much afterwards. It was a good day Not to do too much work. Dana and Nancy had invited us to go with them to a Ray's Baseball game today. Since Lou wanted to get a morning's work done before we went, they picked me up and we went to breakfast at a local coffee shop/diner type of place. I had eggs and grits (yes, I have become a southerner!) We then headed over to the shop picked up Lou and Dana and Nancy got to see the shop for the first time. We got to Tropicana Field in plenty of time to hear the National Anthem.
The Rays ended up behind by two, but we got a bit of excitement in the bottom of the 8th inning when Rays had a grand slam and added to their anemic 2 points already on the board. (doesn't that sound so like an announcer?)
I was going to blow off T Tapp tonight, but thought it would make me sleep better to go. So I did and it was a good workout. I started working out with my weights again last week and doing my old routine in tandem with T Tapp and I feel a lot better in my torso and tummy. I also started to get out and walk more often. I have been steadily losing inches. I have a dress I wore to Katie's High School graduation that I would love to wear again. I took it out and have it hanging in a place where I can see it every day to remind me of my goal!
Got home from T Tapp in time to get in a dock visit before the sun set. Spied a flock of Ibis heading towards me and snapped a photo just in time. "No see 'ems" were biting me terribly so didn't stay out too long.

Everything has a story!

I was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner the other evening and I started thinking about what Lou and I had brought into our marriage and how we have incorporated it all into our daily life.
Lou's cutting board is the larger one. He thinks he acquired it upon returning to the single life in 1986. He says that he probably picked it up at the grocery store when he realized he didn't have one. I had large ones similar during my previous life, but they were either lost to the division or sold at a garage sale. I use my little paddle style cutting board often. I bought it when I was 19, sometime shortly before I went to live in Tucson in 1974. I stayed in Tucson about 18mo. working at The Broadway dept store as the basic stock manager, I had my own office and pager number (you know that chime you would hear in dept. stores) for about 6 months before they eliminated that position and made me Men's Furnishings Mgr. It is the job that made me dislike shopping.

Pink Clouds and a Half Moon

I always wanted to write a book entitled Pink Clouds and a Half Moon...just haven't gotten a story to go with it yet. I saw pink clouds and a half moon tonight as I sat looking at the sky from my favorite bench on my favorite dock. The moon was high in the sky and at first I couldn't see it. When I looked further south and saw the filmy pink clouds I started searching for the moon. There was cotton candy and mashed mango clouds interwoven with the lower silky gray rain clouds. I had seen the moon on the weekend and it was a sliver of a moon so I knew it was close to being a half moon by now, but I couldn't see it yet. Then the wind blew the lower gray clouds south and behold exactly what I was looking for; a half moon to go with my pink clouds. There must be a depression around Puerto Rico that is affecting us since the wind was quite brisk tonight. No manatees, but a hovering osprey that I watched until he dove in for his dinner....saw that little fish fighting for his life in his talons. Off behind me in the shallows, a great blue heron landed in the fishing area of a snowy white egret and displaced him to another spot on the beach with a throaty squawk. The energy that comes off the water when the wind blows like that is so attractive to me! I feel more alive in the wind when I am on the water. Don't know why, probably those negative ions tickeling my primeval brain.

Seven Years of Marriage!

Wow! We have been married 7 years as of tomorrow July 19th. It has been a wild time. If you had asked me on our wedding day where we would be today I would never have guessed this would be our life. It hasn't all been perfect, but it has been wonderful and I am honored to be married to my Lou! We celebrated with a night out. We had a couple or restaurants in mind, but we decided to stay local and go to Cello's right here in Safety Harbor. They only take reservations, they only accept cash, and they do not offer alcohol, although they will provide glasses if you BYOB. Had a lovely filet mignon and shared a piece of key lime pie. Fun to dress up. Sat out on the dock (of course) later as the sun set. The breeze was lovely after such a hot day.

Friday night we also went out! Jeanne (my T Tapp instructor) came over with her husband Lloyd. We had some margaritas; blended by yours truly and some of my famous nachos. Then we walked over to Main St. for 3rd Friday celebration.....street fair night in Safety Harbor. The couple of dress shops that Jeanne and I went into were a lovely respite from the heat, and this was after 8pm! We ended up in Taste, a cafe/wine bar listening to a very good singer and guitarist combo. Since we really were on our "first date" with Jeanne and Lloyd it was a good place to get to know each other better and it was a blast. Seemed like we got along famously and had a lot of similar interests. Jeanne sent me a text Sat. morn to that effect too. We feel like we are no longer strangers in a strange land. They both came from Brooklyn about the same time we came from California.

Today is lazy day again! Sunny and warm again and wishin' we had a boat, but that will come in time.
A nice chat with Kate this morning added that extra love to my day.

Old Bull Manatees

Last night at the dock....it was after 8 and that pink/blue air was growing more intense. I always watch the water for movement; fish jumping, dolphins, or manatees. I got the manatees last night. It seemed like a group of three old, slow moving bulls were hanging out together, feeding on the bottom grasses. Since it was only about 2 feet deep I could look down into the water and even in the diminishing light I could see one big guy cruising just below the surface. His back was severely scarred from props that have hit him over the years. His breathing noise was at a minimum and none of them hardly moved the water as they slid under the dock and around the adjacent calm waters. I figured they had learned how to be stealthy from a lot of years of practice and that is how they have survived so long. The manatees I usually see are playing wildly or doing what manatees do to communicate, so they are quite visible even from a distance.

Friday Nite---date nite!

We met Dana and Nancy for dinner on Friday night at the Bonefish Grill. It was first time in months that we have gotten together. They were in Hawaii and we had been in Calif. Then they went up the East coast on the train and we went to work! No fair!!! It was a good dinner. We exchanged souveniers and I drank my first lemon drop martini...so yum! We all "dolled" up for the night out, but no photos to share.
Saturday was T Tapp clinic...all day. Starting at around 10am until I ran out of steam at 3pm...it went on till 4:30, but I just couldn't do another step! I felt a little bad about leaving, but mostly I felt empowered taking care of myself and not pushing it so hard to make myself miserable. That is what I would have done in my younger days to make everybody happy, everyone that is, but me. Great clinic! Got a lot of detailed instruction on how to do the movements to make them work for me and most importantly to keep from hurting myself. We walked over to the pizza restaurant across the street at lunch time and Jeanne treated us all to lunch. (included in the price of the clinic) It felt like a treat and we had some good girl talking time!
Lou got a Harley ride in to Spring Hill to visit Dana at the Railroad Shop. I really don't think we are going to be selling that motorcycle any time soon. Too Much fun for Lou!

In the evening Saturday Lou and I headed off to the Threshers baseball game. Just a short drive from the house. Perfect evening, no rain, not too hot and we were sitting in the shade! Ate our ballpark food with gusto! I had a beer with my cheese fries and Lou had a pepsi with his philly cheese steak. The Threshers are a training, minor league team for the Philadelphia Phillies. Fireworks after the game, 5-0 Threshers! Fun time! Lou went to find ice cream and came back with blue italian ice! Weird and sweet!!

Sunday off to Winter St. to start the housekeeping chores. Our guests had just left that morning. OMG we lost money on this one. The thermostat was at 60 degrees when we walked in and it was filthy! Even the dishes in the dishwasher had to be rewashed! I cannot imagine leaving a home in that condition. It will take me all week to refresh it and spot paint the doorways and clean the walls and floors where coke was dried. Sad that kids are growing up with that kind of modeling for other people's property. They are definitely a NR!!
I am hoping by this time next year we won't have to do this rental thing and just use it whenever we want. Taking everything that wasn't nailed down is beyond my comprehension too!
Busy week.....got my thyroid check in this morning, lab work mostly. Then I was going to meet with the adjuster about the car; we had a aluminum chuck fall into the road from a flat bed tow truck in front of us on the highway last fall...we replaced the tire and wheel, but now it seems that the bearings may have been damaged. Figured that we pay a million dollars for insurance we might as well find out if there is coverage for that incident. Now they want me to take it to my guy to have it checked out. I was mistakenly thinking they would check it out for me....wrong!
So this afternoon is my final check on my front tooth implant...whoo hooo!! Maybe by the end of this month I may have the permanent tooth in place. I am so flipping tired of this mouthpiece!!!
At least I don't have to walk around with a tooth missing. Although in this part of the country I would fit right in.....meow!

My Mom gave me this

Back in 1998 when we were living with my Mom, she gave me a plaque with this on it. I hung it in my office all the time I had my insurance agency and now it is on the "wall of fame." It is the "code" I have lived by and it has seen me through the worst time in my life. I think you will get it.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

New Exercise Shoes

I broke down and finally went to Sketchers and got myself some good leather exercise shoes. Jeanne had suggested I wear better shoes and I kept meaning to go get them but then I finally had to. An old ankle fracture started making noises at me after I worked out. They had the 2nd pr half off so I got Lou a pair of shoes too. He may have to exchange them, but I got 'em anyway.
Sitting here after finishing housework. I also got a nice newsy letter off to Ben. I try hard to just share life from my perspective. I know I probably come off a little preachy and didactic at times, but I keep trying. The important thing to me for him is to keep "talking" to him since I missed so may years of really having an authentic conversation with him. He never writes back, but he does tell me when he calls that he is liking them and saving all of them. I feel honored.
So, I am sitting here pooped from housework, looking out on the beautiful day and just feeling that wonderful feeling that more often than not accompanies a nostalgic memory; where you feel all is right with the world. I communicated with both my kids in one form or another today. I ate lunch with my husband who is so good to me and got a new pair of shoes to boot! How lucky am I?
Lou and I have an emergency plan; if the world all goes to hell, we'll just take off in the truck, leave it all behind and just travel around the country; stopping to work when we need the money. We'd probably want a trailer and one of the motorcycles. Its funny, when you have a backup plan, nothing scares you.
T Tapp tonight. I look forward to that sooooo much! and I get to wear my new shoes.

ps Well the new shoes made such a difference in the intensity of my workout.....what was I thinking. I came home feeling the wonderful endorphin rush. Made dinner for the two of us and then out to the dock to watch the sunset with our orange/cream popcicles. What a life!

Monday in the Kitchen

Another rainy day....slept in way too late. Lou was home so he let me! I felt domestic today so after my morning ritual of two cups of coffee I got to work; Laundry, bed making, kitchen tidying, grocery list making and then off to the grocery store. I usually forget my grocery bags and this time was no different. I try to be so good about it, but after 56 years of depending on the store to provide the bags I have to work hard to trick myself into remembering them. If I get them into the car there is a good chance I will remember to take them into the store, but even with that I get my basket filled and realize I left them in the car....in time?!
Julie wrote and posted a picture of a pavlova she learned how to make. I did a little googling and found out how to make them. I love meringue and recently bought one at Whole Foods Market, it was exquisite! So I got all my ingredients at the store including some New Zealand Kiwi fruit...homage to Julie.
I defrosted a london broil and spiced it up with Monterey grilling spices, Lou barbequed it on our tiny little portable. Some sweet corn on the cob perfectly cooked and baked potatoes. He was in his "meat and potatoes" glory..his favorite food stuff.
I brought out the pavlova before I served it and he was delighted....I was fulfilling his dream of perfect housewife....and I love doing that! We gobbled down 1/2 of our pavlova and didn't even feel a tinge of guilt.
Steak sandwiches for lunch tomorrow!

July 4th 2010

The day started out raining cats and dogs. We slept in late easily with the dark morning. It was a good day to not have to go anywhere early. We had talked with our neighbors about going to breakfast but hadn't firmed up on the time, then we heard a knock on the door and knew we needed to get our rears in gear. Ready within a half an hour, we were hungry too, and out into the rain with Darius and Loretta. Fun time with them and a good breakfast. The rain kept coming down most of the day. About 4pm I went out to the dock to just shake my cabin fever. It was gloomy still, but I stayed out an hour until I heard distant thunder and felt a few raindrops. It let loose soon after I came back inside. We seriously doubted that there would be fireworks tonight. At 8pm we headed back out to the dock with our folding chairs. Our neighbors started showing up and soon that dock was swamped with more people than I could count.
The fireworks didn't start until around 9:45, but it was worth the wait. 15-20 mins of showy splendor. I don't think we'd witnessed July 4th fireworks any of the last 5 years and possibly since we got married 7 years ago. It actually got a little cool out there on the water, which was wonderful considering it has been so hot and humid.

Rainbow and Manatees

Lou and I saw some sunlight sneaking through the trees at sunset. We jumped up and headed out to the dock. We haven't seen much sunlight all week. It was gorgeous! The water was like glass and reflected the glowing clouds. A couple of manatees were feeding nearby. Then a rainbow bloomed
T Tapp last night. Up early and then off to Winter Street to finish prep for today's guests. We ordered delivery for dinner.
Looking forward to a nice calm weekend. No plans except to be lazy.

hot water heater blues

Oh Joy, the repair man is here to replace the hot water heater. This is when having work close to home makes such a nice difference. They give me a 20 min. heads up on their arrival, my head was full of colorant at the hair dresser (3 blocks away) so I called Lou at the shop and he comes to the house to meet the guy. Danielle washes the color out and sends me on my way with my wet hair and smock to head home to relieve Lou so he can return to work. So all I have to do is wait for the repair guy to replace this little 30 gal water heater and I will go back up to the hair salon and get my hair styled and change back into my blouse! Cool huh!? This is the first time in my life I have lived close to work and most of the other essentials; dentist, optomitrist, grocery store, gas station, etc. I love it!
So tonight is T tapp night. On Tues. I felt like the workout was so much more intense. Jeanne says it is because I am getting the form better and that makes the workout more effective. Makes sense to me. A week from Sat., July 10th Jeanne is having an all day seminar with lunch ....I signed up for that. Just having time with the girls is as much value to me as the exercise!

Lazy Sunday

Lou and I were up at 5:30 am having our morning coffee (me) and his tea. After an hour we went back to bed...a delightful way to spend a sunday morning! Our new neighbor next door had her stereo vibrating against our bedroom wall so at the early hour of 9:30 am we got our lazy bums up. We got ourselves dressed finally and went out to breakfast. We hadn't been over to the gulf coast lately and frankly have been afraid of seeing an oily mess, but we braved it and drove out. It's about 12 miles west of us here in Safety Harbor. Beautiful warm day. Everything you would expect on a June morning in Florida. I have done more exploring than Lou has over the last 3 1/2 years we have owned the shop and especially the last 10 months living here in S.H.
Last fall I had bought a twin bedroom set for the WSC out at Indian Shores Beach and remembered seeing some old style cafes along the road there so that is where we headed.

Found a breakfast cafe with lot of cars parked in front so that is where we stopped. Parking just around the corner where there is a path to the beach. Breakfast was slow, Lou got his kilbasa and eggs before my oatmeal and then I had to ask for milk and he had to remind the gal for his home fries...not a good sign. But the food was ok and we got out of there because they didn't believe in AC...fans, but no AC or turned down to save money....who knows?!

The beach looked so inviting so we walked out to it. Not a wide beach, but there wasn't too many people either. The water was perfectly tropical looking, with the green/blue and deep blue swaths depending on the depth...very nice.! We will be going back there! The area we went through before we got to Indian Shores was full of the typical Florida high rises and fancy landscaping...not our style at all.

Yesterday we had called on a Craigslist ad for an O'Day sailboat. It looked really nice in the pictures. The fellow called us back today and we went over. They were close by in town so we took the beat up old pick up just in case we bought it, we could tow it home. It was a project boat; more for the mold removal and bottom paint job that it desperately needed. Lou's work just is too demanding to have any project boats. He was asking way too much for the shape it was in too. I told him as we were leaving if he wanted to put the boat in the water at our dock, we'd paint the bottom, clean it up and just share it....probably not going to happen. I think people just need cash right now and I am not letting go of ours till the perfect little boat shows up.

Monday morning tomorrow and I am back up to Brooksville to do housekeeping following our guests check out today. Sure hope it isn't a monster job! A family from Virginia coming in on Saturday.

Date in St. Petersburg--Friday Night

Lou took me to the 4th ST Shrimp Store in St. Pete last night after work. Actually we didn't get there till 7:30...I had crab legs for the first time in my life! Totally over rated, but it was a very beachy thing to eat. Lou had the fried shrimp. We had started with smoked mullet dip and onion rings.....yeah, we were bad! But we didn't drink any alcohol......We drove down to the marina after dinner, caught a few sail boats coming in from their sunset sail. Breezy evening, warm, so the breeze felt really good, keeping the humidity to a minimum for the discomfort factor.

Woke up late this morning, what a slug! Actually I got up after Lou was asleep last night (after midnight) and watched two episodes of Desperate Housewives....I have been dvr ing them lately so I can get caught up. Shameful to be so interested in such silliness; but it isn't too far off from the reality I have seen in my life. Maybe that's why I am intrigued by it.

We took a drive out to Honeymoon Island this afternoon. We decided to start exploring the area a little more. It is fun to now be here out of freedom of choice...meaning we are not feeling like we are imprisoned here any longer. It has changed the way we look at the world around us. The drive was fun; Honeymoon Island is a state park. We'll go back when we want to explore and hike around the island. Drove around Tampa through the port area. Eventually finding our way back to our own neck of the woods. Stopped at an Italian restaurant and had the best filet mignon we have ever had in our lives!

Went online to get tickets to the local minor league baseball team. Easy to order online so two weeks from tonight we get to see the Clearwater Threshers play the Daytona Cubs.

Empty Nester Housewife

With WSC booked through the summer, my focus has had to changed. I have become an official housewife. Yes, I go to the shop every day at 11am to bring or get lunch for me and Lou, but it is different now that my work at Winter Street is basically upkeep. The hard work is done. Now I can focus on our life in Safety Harbor, in our condo. I have been putting off doing anything that resembles decorating while I had Winter St. to deal with. Since our porch is an extension of our living room I wanted to get some cushions for the wicker chairs that had an indoor look with a sunporch feel. I went into a store next door to the JoAnn's Store that I hadn't planned on and lo and behold there were some cushions that called my name. It makes the porch so much more inviting.

Took my measurements this morning; lost another 1/2 inch in my upper back and an inch in my waist! I love this T Tapp stuff. My class tonight was a lot of work. I feel energized even though it is 10pm and I usually am headed to bed to read by this time! We didn't eat dinner until I got home after 7:30 so we are still full! Hard to sleep after eating that late.

Being in the fabric store today got my sewing gene awakened. I will be going back soon to look at patterns.

Scam? or really needing the money

I was pushing my cart to my car at the Target in Clearwater. A woman pulled up behind my car where I was loading my bags she looked distraught and claimed that she had just driven over from Titusville (I had to look it up) over on the East Coast of Florida by Cape Canaveral, to pick up her daughter? who was having a "domestic" problem. The daughter in the passenger seat had cuts on her face....anyway, she claimed that she had left without her debit card and needed gas to get back. I knew I had about 5 singles in my wallet and offered that to her with an apology that I didn't have more to help. Was I being scammed out of my money? I guess I'll never know. I ended up at the light behind her as I drove out of the shopping center and I was tempted to follow her to see if she went to the nearest gas station. I didn't, but I still wasn't sure if I had just been robbed by a lie.
Usually, I feel a lie right away. I was confused by it and still after a couple hours I am not sure. Oh Well!! I have offered money to the obviously needy before and given when stopped at a light with someone holding the "I will work for food" sign, but I have never had that scenario before!
One of the things that makes me weary in my life is dealing with people who have no trouble telling lies. I even feel the fatigue in watching commercials, seeing signs on the road and listening to the radio spew opinions as facts. It makes me want to retire from humanity. So many people consider the white lie as a integral part of living. I have so much trouble with it. Telling the truth is also difficult. People don't want to hear it. Even when you are claiming it as your experience or opinion people shut down when it doesn't mesh with their experience or world view. We are funny creatures that way.

Thursday Already!

Life is humming along for Lou and me. We have such a simple, unhurried life now. The kids are doing their thing, not needing us or our money too much any more. Allene's passing in Feb. ended a 5 year commitment to her. We have felt relieved that she is out of her misery; mostly that she is where fear cannot control her life. Seems that fear is the number one element that makes people do and say the most awful and the most funny things! I am not free of that burden entirely, but I am aware when it has taken control. Breathing is my best antidote to fear. When I become conscious of my breathing I become conscious of the here and now and what is actually going on in that moment and it is never fearful, it is usually wonderful. Sitting on the dock watching manatees and their calves swim by, sitting on my porch looking at the water and feeling blessed. Driving over the causeway at sunset and have my breath taken away at the amazing clouds and water. I have a life that most people can only fantasize about. I have an amazing husband who loves me and brings out the best in me. I have kids who are interested in what I say and thank me for what I have been to them. I have a couple of friends that I can be myself with and I have a lovely job; taking care of the books etc with the shop and making Winter Street a lovely place to be for vacationing guests. I get up when I want most days and go to bed when I want. I can shop for groceries the way I chose and I can make good meals for Lou and myself. He is usually happy with the food I make for him and when he is unhappy he says nothing; that is how I know...so sweet of him to be so kind about it. We have little needs and so we make food our treat and entertainment. Funny how little food you need when the food you have is satisfying and delicious. I think that goes with all things in life. One or two good friends can be a lot better than a ton of not so good friends. I have shed a few not so good friends over the years, not by choice, but by distance. The ones that can stay connected in spite of the distance show their true loyalty. I had hard feelings at first about the ones that drifted away, but I understand now that no one has the time or wants to take the time for people that chose to leave your world. I moved, they didn't.
The mail just came and there was a package that I found sitting at my back door. It was three record albums. A few months ago I was doing a search for "Children Songs for a Rainy Day." My Mom wanted me to print out the lyrics to some of the tunes that we grew up with and bring them to the May Family Reunion. The album got lost in the move from Angelus Oaks and I have been sick about the loss. I remember most of the song lyrics, but I still want to find the old record album. After searching online for a while I found a blog that had the email of one of the sons of a songwriter from those old children's song. I emailed him and told him how important "Willie the Spider" had been to me and that I was looking to replace the album I had lost. He offered to send (without cost) a record album of his Dad's original songs. He sent three of them. He included a note to let me know that these were a set. How sweet is that?! Between the new and honest renter we have at Hemet and the really great people who have booked at the WSC, my view of mankind"s basic good has been bolstered. This generous sharing of records is so amazing.

Wednesday morning

Had my third T Tapp class last night. There were four of us this time plus the instructor. Jeanne is so good, she watches to make sure we are all doing the form just right. She doesn't baby us or patronize us at all, but will go over a move several times to make sure we understand just how it works and what it is doing for our body. All that information is so good to get me focused on the whys of what we are doing. It has been one week and I have lost 1/2" in my upper back! That is a spot that does need to trim down; to get rid of the back cleavage when I wear a tight strapless bathing suit. Even Lou said he felt like that part of my body felt much tighter. I am very encouraged. I haven't been perfect with the NoS diet. I gave in to some ice cream Sunday evening after we had cleaned Winter Street all day. I didn't feel bad though, I just savored it! The main thing that I have done now that I have become conscious of it is stop drinking sodas and stop an evening bowl of cereal when I get hungry before bedtime. I now just go to bed hungry.
Last night when I came in from class our new neighbor came out to her patio by the car port and asked me if I had some time to visit. I took my purse and towel into our place then went over to her apt. next door. It was fun to just sit and have some girl talk for a while. PJ is what she calls herself; she did refer to herself as Patty though. I think the PJ might be part of her new self identity as she is getting a divorce after 32 years of marriage. She is a nurse and works nights sometimes. Worried that her dog might bark when she leaves him alone she wanted us to let her know if we heard him. We didn't.
Weird day yesterday. Waited in a lot of lines, at the metal dealer (for Lou); at the bank (to deposit a Canadian check); at Macy's (to return a sundress), at AT & T (to find out why my phone wouldn't go on--needed rebooting-duh!!). Seemed like everyone was having a weird sort of day. Exercise did help to get the weird gone at the end of the day, in reality, not metaphorically.
Today is an uneventful day except for a trip to Whole Foods over in Tampa.

Monday PM

Lou and I worked our rear ends off this weekend at Winter Street.....got the front door painted my favorite Feng Shui red...finally!
So I did take the day off. Lou came home for hot dogs; I know, I know, I'll give him a salad tonight. I did two loads of laundry, did the dishes, did a little Winter Street Cottage paperwork and now I have my toes in soapy water; saving myself $40 for a pedicure! I even got in 10 min of T Tapp movements. I felt it in just that little bit.
I felt a big dose of tired on Friday and Saturday last week. I attributed it to the fatigue from shocking my body with exercise. I feel pretty good today. Good enough to stay home all day; I am getting stuff done! Feels good.